The Acupressure for Lovers approach to sexuality focuses on enhancing intimacy. I believe that goal-oriented sex and intimacy are mutually exclusive. Expectations and destinations are future—oriented; they take you away from the present moment that you share with your partner. ”Delighting in the journey” means being mindful of every moment with your loved one. Open yourselves to each other, with neither expectations nor an agenda except to be present in each other’s company. Enjoy the feel of your love in each touch, caress, and embrace. Breathe deeply into each sensation of pleasure, and allow each touch to represent and embody the warmth and closeness of your bond. Allow orgasm to become only one part of the experience, not the goal. Learn more at and Release is part of the pleasure of sex and intimacy, but by allowing yourself to focus on the pleasure before and after orgasm—by relaxing your exclusive focus on the orgasm—you will intensify the orgasm in addition to all other sensual facets of the experience. If the joys of sex are not rooted in the heart but are used solely for momentary physical release and pleasure, relationships are limited and self—referential; they eventually become superficial, hollow, and temporary. But when sexual interaction is a sacred exchange and partners regularly set aside special time and energy to engage fully with each other, they can move toward a shared experience of deep intimacy. STIMULATING YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY This chapter is for those who want to use acupressure by themselves to increase their sexual vitality and aliveness. They may be separated from their partner or between partners, or their partner is not interested in practicing acupressure. They may simply be more committed to self-care and personal growth than their partner. If your partner is open to acupressure, however, both of you can ractice the exercises in this chapter. EMOTIONAL INTIMACY The more ways partners express their innermost selves to each other, the deeper their intimacy can grow. For an intimate relationship to be stable, however, both partners must first know, honor, and nurture themselves. Sadly, our culture teaches people to ignore their feelings, to deny their anger, affection, and hurt. So many people are out of touch with their feelings and find it awkward to express them to others. If you cannot experience your own feelings and be aware of them yourself, how can you share them with your partner? An awareness of your own feelings is absolutely necessary for emotional intimacy. Deep breathing can open you to your innermost feelings. Close your eyes, and focus your attention on your chest or belly. As you breathe deeply into your heart, imagine your breath reaching your feelings, massaging them, loosening them. Continue breathing slowly and deeply into these areas and feelings. Describe to yourself the sensations that develop inside your chest and belly. Learn more at